Thursday, August 25, 2022

I just can't stop.....

So it was said... 2 to 5 years it continues to play inside my head. It continues to be a thought many times throughout the day. It's reality, it has to be faced but god dam this just stings. I want to just write about adventures and I think I will but first... 
Tonight as I got her things ready for bed her clothes laid out, making sure she was all set, I said good night I love you as she crawled into bed. I love you too she said. I shut the door and cried. 
One day she won't say it back, one day she won't know me, one day she won't even be here. Life is so unfair, I can't be grieving now cause she's still here but I guess I am, I'm grieving for the future of uncertainty, I'm grieving for the pain that will be caused with my daughters as they watch such an important person to them fade away... 
I need to cry, I need to be mad at this awful disease, so today I grieve and tomorrow I focus on what makes her happy, and help to preserve the time we do have with fun, laughter and memories 

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