If I could only see inside her head.

So it seems that some days are better than others. You want to find out just what is making her cry, get frustrated or just wonder what she's thinking. 

I have sat down with her what feels like every night and talk about things that are bothering her. She just says, "it's nothing" but it is something. SOMETHING makes her feel frustrated and not want to try. 

We have had a rough few weeks but, I am hoping that the eagerness of getting ready for bed at 4:00 has passed, her not knowing how to get undressed or dressed (cause she does) I mean who does not put on their shirt inside out or backwards at times. 

It was was a week ago I sat down with her, just her and I and we talked about not worrying, not stressing about things she knows how to do and once again not worrying (she does it a lot) we laughed and I think I got her understanding that. 

As I tucked her into bed, yes I do that on some nights, and I walked away almost out the door, I heard her say "God I just love her so much".

I shut the door, I smiled and I took a deep breathe and once again felt my soul fill up with love and joy knowing I'm doing the right thing. 

Who needs sleep

It's kinda funny you know, as a parent well especially a mom you never quite ever have a deep sleep, you kinda train yourself to hear everything. That I do.... well last week three nights at almost 4 am on the dime I heard sceeching, screaming or my name each time getting up to calm my mom down from a bad dream or an anxiety attack from her excessive worry. (I am really working with her on that) 

It's kinda like having a toddler again. It's exhausting to say the least, and sometimes I feel like I'm failing her... Even though I'm not my heart or emotions think I am. 

I'm ever so greatful for those friends who have lived it (caring for their parents) the friends who just listen... The hubby that well is just so matter afact about it all.